* l a i t o t z *

b o r e d

2006-09-03T15:43:00.000+08:00

sunday afternoon.. it's hot.. terribly hot.. and i'm really really bored. i'm kinda sleepy but i don't feel like goin to bed. i wanna do sumthin' fun but i'm too tired to do sumthin. haha! saya diba? wala kong patutunguhan nito.. hahaha! hmmmm.. i'll study nlang cguro.. waaa.. no. not now. i'll study later.. hahah! we have retdems kc tom sa rle e.. hahah! :D oh wellz.. i'll find sumthin to do nalang.. maybe i'll update my other blogs.. haha! for fun? hmmm.. just to kill time :D

http://aniahal.livejournal.com

http://bestilaitotz.multiply.com

http://bugsbunnyfreak.mindsay.com

check 'em out.. ü wla lang.. just to kill time :D

..zZzzZzz..

2006-07-01T15:01:00.000+08:00

haaii.. kapagod.. grabe.. ang layo pa ng prelims pero hell week na agad ngayon.. sobrang busy.. no time to sleep.. so little time to rest.. grrrrrrrrrhh!!.. report dito, report don.. experiment dito, activity don.. quiz dito, seatwork jan.. nu ba! pde bang.. prrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrtttttt!!! TIME OUT MUNA PLS!!!!! *time pers!!* argh.. pagod nko grabe.. nkakainis.. bt ganito.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

buti nlng mag ccgs na kme.. kaso, mgng masaya nman kea? i mean, ciempre msaya kc mgkksama kme nila maix, jc, miko, etc.. pero iba pa rin pag 1a ksma koh e.. tska iba pa rin pag.. un. hehehe! haii.. sana 3 days 2nights nlng ang cgs.. tska sna ndi ganto kaaga db??

pagbalik na pagbalik nmen from cgs, practice agad kme ni maix for college night.. uhhh.. next friday na ata un. hmmmmmmmmmm.. cnu bang ngrrush wla nman.

haiiiiiiiiiiii..

ana lec reporting.. "miko, maix at john! ayusin naten para masaya.. hahaha! para mataas grade! hehehe.." grabe tinotopak tlaga koh..

ana lab moving exam sa friday.. "sir alvin, uhhh.. pdeng next week nlng? college night kc sa friday night bka ma stress ako. haha!"

RLE sa monday.. "groupmates! dont 4get ung mga dapat basahin at dapat dalhin ah! ahehehe.. (pra lang dun sa may mga BP app at stet na..)"

biostat sa thursday.. "guys!! may assgn taio! 4.22!! peram book!!"

PHC quiz on friday.. "dugdug! dugdug! go team! harhar.. kiddin.."

haaaaaaaiii.. bahala na nga c batman! whehehehe..

kapagod tlga.. may sayaw pa kme sa friday.. waaaaaaaaaaaaaa..

oh wellz, lapit na din ako magtime. nsa netopia kc koh ngayon e.. sa festi.. haii.. o cia cge.. ciao!! ;)

Godbless! ;)

my other blogs and friendster accts

2006-06-07T16:29:00.000+08:00

hmmm.. if i am not mistaken this is my 2nd blog. the first blog that i ever had was that one in my 1st friendster acct. hmmm.. oh well.. just check my other senseless-empty-blogs..

multiply: http://bestilaitotz.multiply.com
livejournal: http://aniahal.livejournal.com
mindsay: http://bugsbunnyfreak.mindsay.com

..and kindly add this acct..

angelfromdpast@yahoo.com [[friendster]]
--ung blog koh d2 sobrang walang kwenta ata..--

tnx!

one rainy day

2006-05-18T16:40:00.000+08:00

i have really nothin' to put in here.. hmmmmm.. maybe i'll just advertise my multiply..

so guys.. check out my multiply. hahaha!

http://bestilaitotz.multiply.com

thanx! dont hesitate to leave some comments or replies or whatsoever there.. harharhar!

don't you think i suck? i mean when it comes to blogs and stuff. hahhahha.. i can't even make a sensible entry.. maybe because there is nothing significant to write about. hmmmm.. let me see..

ohh.. yesterday my friends and i met at sisc.. before that, i accompanied nikki to the reg office for enrollment. then we waited for drew for a couple of minutes then proceeded to select to eat. we waited for rj there.. he said he would arrive at around 2.15pm.. guess what? he arrived at 2.30pm. tsk3.. what's new? rj.. hahaha..

when he arrived, we went straight to rox's house to drop something there then proceeded to atc. we headed to the foodcourt then the cr.. sat down for a couple of minutes then went to Sinangag EXpress.. the new branch at bf. afterwards, we planned to go to shell slex to unwind for a while but then we all decided to go to tagaytay. so we went there. hahahaha.. :D we arrived there at 5.30pm then we stayed at starbucks for about an hour. we took a lot of pictures.. of ourselves of course.. then went back to susana heights afterwards. we left tagaytay at around 6.45pm. they dropped me off at villa carolina by 8pm then rj brought nikki and drew home. then our day ended. the end.

haha! was that even worth reading? hahaha.. well dont care.. as long as i can think of anything to type.. i might as well place it here as an entry. hahahaha! :D

*tata!

one friday afternoon

2006-05-05T15:03:00.000+08:00

it's friday.. 2nd to the last day of the week.. i went to church this morning to attend joshua summer. we did simple yet essential things today. after the session, we ate lunch. then my friends and i chatted as we took our lunch. had a little fellowship then others went home. since ikay and i had nothing to do, we went here at the comp. shop to surf the net. and since i really don't have anythin' to do here.. i just made maix a "happy bday testimonial" and i updated my blog. i'm planning of updating my multiply site later when i get home.

*yawwwn* im sleepy..

hehehe..

oh well, i wanna do something but i'm too lazy to think of anythin' to do. haahhaha..

i'm not making any sense now, am i?

[i'm currently listening to "so sick" because i don't have any choice since somebody inside this small pc shop is playing the song right now in his/her pc.. i think? is that a pc or a radio? ahh whatever.]

haha.. i can say i'm really tired now coz i'm not making any sense anymore. hahaha..

oh well.. i better go now. ;)

**wanna know who's ikay? take a peek..**

**thought you'd wanna know.. hahaha..**

2006-04-27T21:27:00.000+08:00

o kmusta nman un? cnu bang nsaktan wla nman??.. e anu ba kcng nagpakapraning sknia ha??? tatlong taon na kc nkakaraan ayaw pang bitawan.. e kasalanan koh rin nman kc kung bat ako nssktan.. haii nko.. wlang dapat sisihin.. ndi ako galit sknila.. galit ako sa ginawa nila.. bakt?? bakit nila ginawa un? errr.. she was one of the people who i looked up to.. pero ndi.. aioko.. ndi ako mggalit saknia.. ndi ako maiilang.. kapatid koh cia e.. badtrip.. nkakainis..

tama na! eerrrrrr~!!

summer time!

2006-04-06T21:02:00.000+08:00

yep! that's right! school's over so that means it's summer time!! *woohoo!!*

well, for the past two weeks that i've been freed from school, i haven't really started enjoying my summer vacation. i spent my 1st week of vacation in the sisc grounds to get my grades and also i started preparing all the stuff that i will be needing upon enrollment for next semester. i spent my 2nd week at my mom's office. why? coz i'm grounded. *haha!* last monday, april 3, i went home at around 9pm and my dad got pissed. hehehe.. well, its okei coz even if i'm grounded, i still get to to go to makati and to other places coz of my mom. hehehe! [way to go mom!ü]

well, i still dont have any idea where will i spend my vacation and how will i enjoy it, but for the mean time, i'll be spending it at my mom's office so i'll earn money. hehehe! oh well, gotta run!

ciao!

new year.. new update

2006-01-05T19:45:00.000+08:00

it's been a long time since i last updated my blog. well, since it's already 2006, maybe i could have the effort to update this thing.

2005 have passed together with all the sh*t that we've experienced within those 12months. last year, i've experienced a lot of things. i've experienced how to be extremely happy and also extremely sad.. call that depression. but actually, i experienced more happiness than sadness because of the Big Guy's help. many things transpired. all those damn heartbreaking events caused by.. yeah you got it.. and those economical problems that gave you a headache when it comes to shopping. to think that you have to lessen your expenses and budget your freakin' allowance that costs P250 a day, which is now equivalent only to more or less $2 compared to $250 before during marcos' regime, just to buy that pair of chuck taylors that you are really craving for. whew!

hai.. whenever i would think of those stuff, i just laugh it out and just tell myself that this year i'll be doing something far better than what i've done the past year. hahaha.. just can't help but laugh and smile. well, what's the point in crying over it all over again?! your just wasting you damn time by doing that. hehehe!

it's already 2006.. nothing special actually except that i'll be celebrating my 18th bday this year. i'm not even planning to have a party or a 'debut' or whatever. i just want a car and maybe gather my closest friends together and feed them. hehe! well, i'll just try, well not try but i'll make the best out of this year. hehehehe!..

*thanks guys for bein' there for me throughout the whole year. i would have failed to surpass those trials if your not there beside me. and most especially i thank the Big Guy for being so kind, loving, faithful and merciful to me. ü"

spendin' some time with mah best bud..

2005-12-24T23:17:00.000+08:00

well, these past few.. nights.. i spent some time with mah best bud. gosh i missed him sooooo much!.. okei don't get me wrong, he's my best friend.. no more, no less. anyways, it started last tuesday. i was with my friends sa g4 nung morning.. then atc in the afternoon, actually evening. anyways.. after doin' some shopping at atc, i went home to join my churchmates to do some caroling stuff. i was, well, 'kinda' surprised when i learned that my bestfriend's there. he joined the caroling. i was so damn happy that night!.. why? well its because that afternoon.. i was telling my friends na.. "guys grabe.. miss koh na c pare.. ndi n kc kme nguusap e.. wla ln.. haii.." then that night i was with him! san ka pah?? after visiting tito roland's house for caroling, he borrowed my fone on our way to the next house. i borrowed his fone also and blah blah blah.. he was playing with my fone, checkin' out my pix and all that while i texted a friend of ours using his fone. after singing at the last house, we went back to parkhomes. he sat beside me. we were talking about stuff.. stuff that we usually talk about when we were still textin' each other. i kept on pinching him and harassing him just to make him shut up. hehe!..

the next night, there was no scheduled caroling. too bad he didnt attend the xmas party of my mom's office. his sister works there.

thursday night..

there was a scheduled caroling for that night. three houses to go to.. those houses were located here in our village. he came from makati that day with 2 of our friends so i have to pick them up at 711. we all went to my tita's house, since that was the first house that we are about to go to that night. the two boys were riding at the back of the trike and we are both sitting inside the trike. i was telling him na masikip na kmeng dalawa sa loob kasi ang taba nia.. he was just laughing. then he told me na he's hungry daw. nahihilo na daw cia at pakainin koh daw cia when suddenly he pointed out somewhere telling me na, "ui tingin ka dun.." sabay kinagat ba naman ako sa balikat!??? edi kinurot koh nga! haha!.. kinagat ulit ako at halos maiyak na kmeng dalawa sa sakit ng kagat nia saken at sa sakit ng kurot koh skania.. hehe! funny!ü i was with him all night. i sat beside him all the time. we were both happy and its as if we're both excited to see and spend time with each other. haha!.. that night, the last stop wa at our house.. he ate.. again. ang takaw mo bes!! ala koh masabi saio!! hahahaha!!! we talked again.. like we did when we were in the van and in other people's houses.. hehe!.. hai.. :D

i really missed him!.. that's one of the reasons why i'd be spending my christmas with a joyful heart!.. all i ever wanted is to have him beside me. i mean.. he's my bestfriend.. nothin' more.. nothin' less. all i ever wanted was to spend time with him.. well, spend enough time with him.. at least before they leave the country.. for good. :( too bad he'll be leaving maybe by 2007. its not yet sure,, but i dont want it to happen.. it would hurt.. i know.. but i have to practice living my life here in the philippines without my bestfriends. my long-time bestfriend, clarisse is now in london.. and he would be goin' to canada.. i hope he won't ever forget me. :(

hai..

but as long as he's still here.. i'll spend my days happily!.. he's one of the greatest blessings that God has ever bestowed upon me.. :D

*kelan un usapan naten? hehehe! ingatz parati panget!.. ;)*

christmas party and reunion in one! ü

2005-12-18T17:10:00.000+08:00

last dec.14, 2005, wednesday, our class, bsn1a, had a christmas party and reunion in one. why reunion? coz we used to be blockmates back in 1st sem. hehe! hmmmm.. let see what transpired on this day.. well, night.. hehe!

wednesday morning we had our last set of prelim exams. the biochem exam was, well, quite easy. hmmm.. yah maybe. anyways, it was the logic exam that gave us a headache. if you took the test i promise you would really have a hard time answering that!.. i thought i could finish the exam in 45mins or less but it seems that i underestimated sir pol so much in giving an exam. it was damn hard!.. my brain was really retaliating and the exam really gave me a major headache. the questions were driving me crazy especially the essay part. also the last part of the exam, which covers the topic 'categorical propositions.' i swear next term i would really study very very hard!! waaaaah!!..

speaking of hard examinations and life-wrecking questions (whaha!!), there's this subject that really gave all of us a really hard time. biology. we may all think that biology's such an easy subject. well, yes it is.. back in high school. but now? no way man!.. biology sucks! especially when you have a prof like.. her. why? yes she's really smart. as in way too intelligent to the point that she doesn't teach us accdg to our level. its as if she's talking to people who have the same brain that she has. haii.. she's pretty, she's nice, she's cute when she teaches BUT she's not considerate in giving grades. and she's definitely not a.. aaaaaaarrrrrrgggghhhhh!!.. basta we hate it!.. she makes biology too difficult for us!.. the only thing we enjoyed in her subject was the educational trip, wherein we went to bauan, batangas and had our scuba diving there. cool huh? yeah its cool, but joining the trip only gives us 20 points in our seatwork if im not mistaken. asar dba? oh well.. (btw, we had our biology exam last tuesday. it sucks! big time!! the questions from #s 1-5 are the same but each # has a different set of choices from the others. and ndi lang isa un.. mrami un! basta! asar tlga!!)

anyways, after our logic exam, we went off to sm southmall to do our last minute shopping for our party. after buying all the stuff that we need, we went back to southville to get our stuff and went to jani's house to prepare.

at jani's house..
we started wrapping some of the gifts that we have for each other. haha! funny. blah blah blah.. hehe!!

at around 6.30pm, some of our blockmates arrived. we waited for everyone to be there before we started partying.

many things happend that night. as in MANY things. i can't put those stuff in here coz its quite personal. hehe!

anyways, that night, we ate. hehe! then we started giving the gifts to everyone. the boys were playin the guitar, some of us were singing. then we started drinking and playing games. well, we only played one game all through out-suck and blow. hehehee!! cool! i won twice! but guess what?? rox was the champion! no one could beat her in this game. hahaha!.. nice one rox!

after drinking, singing, playing, and all those stuff, we started to pack up and went our way home. chike, rafer, army and i rode with wally while the others stayed until 2am. we went home at around 11.45pm. many things happend after we left.. i'll just leave you hangin.. hehe!

..thanx guys! thanx tlga!!.. merry christmas to all of you and i love you so much!! tc alweiz and Godbless!! c yah next year!!.. ;)

multiply..

2005-12-08T23:04:00.000+08:00

hey guys! i just dropped by to say that i already have a multiply account. hehe! well, i use to have one before but it was kinda inactive. but now, im using it again since i was able to retrieve my password. hehe! oh well.. just check it out. here's the link:

http://bestilaitotz.multiply.com

please comment on it. hehe! wala langz! :D

*watta happy day!*

serendipity

2005-12-05T22:09:00.000+08:00

okei.. ill make this one real quick coz im tryin to force myself to sleep early. hehe! hmmm.. just wanna share what happend with me today. so here it is..

i went to school today and eventually i was late, AGAIN, on my first class. hehe! [well, what could i do? i love to sleep! hehe!] well, during our 30-min break after biochem class, i texted 'him' saying, "sori nah.. pls????" i wasnt really expecting for him to reply. well, 'he' really didnt reply to my msg. hehe! anyways, while we were in the middle of our discussion in our socio-anthro class, 'he' texted me asking if i know this specific person. to my surprise, 'he' was asking me if i know 'ilnam' who happens to be my best friend back in high school. haha! funny.. i wonder why 'he's' looking for ilnam. anyways, after 2 text msgs and 2 replies, there was silence. hehe! whatever.. i dont know if we're okei now but what 'he' did this morning [the texts..] gives me hope that we're soon gonna be fine. and makes me really really happy! :) hehe! [babaw koh noh? ;)]

nothin really amazing/interesting happend to me today in school.

just this evening, while i was checking my friendster acct, i had a new msg coming from a guy named jay. he added me up on friendster last sunday and i was really curious how he found me, whoever he is. i messaged him asking who he is and how did he find me. he replied to my message saying that 'he is a good friend of 'him'. =)' and that i have nothing to worry about. hehe! i texted 'him' at once asking if 'he' knows a guy named jay and blah blah blah. sad to say 'he' didnt reply. but its okei.

now, im just kinda wondering.. everything that has happend today.. are all these simply coincidences? or fate/destiny has something to do with this? it may sound really funny but.. it's still possible. ü serendipity? who knows.. ü

Makita Kang Muli

2005-11-29T22:09:00.000+08:00

by Sugar free

Ohoooohohoooohhh....... Ooohhoohh

Bawat sandali ng aking buhay
Pagmamahal mo ang aking taglay
San man mapadpad ng hanging hindi
Magbabago aking pagtingin
Pangako natin sa Maykapal
Na tayo lamang sa habang buhay
Maghintay

Chorus:
Ipaglalaban ko ang ating pag-ibig
Maghintay ka lamang ako'y darating
Pagka't sa isang taong mahal mo ng buong puso
Lahat ay gagawin
Makita kang muli, Makitang kang muli

Puso'y nagdurusa nangungulila
Iniisip ka pag nag-iisa
Inaalala mga sandaling
Nang tayo ay magkapiling
Ikaw ang gabay sa akin tuwina
Ang aking ilaw sa gabing mapanglaw
Tanging ikaw

Chorus:
Ipaglalaban ko ang ating pag-ibig
Maghintay ka lamang ako'y darating
Pagka't sa isang taong mahal mo ng buong puso
Lahat ay gagawin
Makita kang muli
Makitang kang muli, Makita kang muli

Deep yet Painful

2005-11-29T21:54:00.000+08:00

i got this from a friend of mine. the first two stanzas are parts of a poem. the last two came from a song.

to lay a kiss on your lips,
so gentle and delicate
is like picking the drops of dew
off the petals of a rose.
i hold you close and feel safe,
sheltered in from the rain,
from the storms that grow and surround me.
i take your hand and look into
your eyes
and see a heart made of gold and soul so pure.

you see you are an angel,
an angel to me.
i could not help but fall
madly in love with you,
the one who stole my heart.
i'm glad you did
because i could never find
one such as you.
someone who makes each day the best,
each laugh the longest,
each tear the saddest,
and a life,
my life, worthwhile.

last night you said you love me,
last night you said you needed me,
when i woke up
i never saw your face,
when i woke up you never left a trace.
you said that we would stay together,
i thought that we would be forever.
i never thought we'd ever part,
but now i have a broken heart.

i don't wanna dream if my dream is without you.
i don't wanna sleep if my dream will only be blue,
i don't wanna hear the words,
i don't wanna feel your touch,
all i know is that you hurt me so much.
I'M NOT ASKING YOU BACK,
I JUST NEED A FRIEND.
all i'm asking is,
let me dream again.

just killing time..

2005-11-25T23:16:00.000+08:00

i'm really bored.. and since i'm waiting for some 'specific' people to appear online on my list, i decided to place some 'cute' stuff here.

heart breaker ei?? tsk tsk..

..asteeg netoh.. [pic below] but it doesn't apply to me.. haha!

i may be..
..but definitely i'm not a.. <<<--not a BRAT!!!

cute noh? [pic below] but i'm not a dark angel.. ehehehe!

..hmmm, cutie? me? awww... sssshh.. secret lang un! ahahahahaa!!!

<<<<------- para kanino kaia ito???.. baka saken? joke! ahahahahahaha!!

..actually, there's a lot more but i'm having a difficulty placing those stuff in here coz my pc has an attitude problem.. hehehe! whatev.. [tagal mag-online..]

sino bang snob???

2005-11-24T22:49:00.000+08:00

...ako bah?!!

baka ikaw!...

..hmmm.. kung sa bagay..

ako ren tong hindi namamansin..

..e bakit ba kasi?!..

pasaway...

nagpapadala kasi maciado sa emosyon e..

pero.. anung magagawa koh kung un ang paraan koh para hindi na koh masaktan??..

err!!!

mamatay na mga mapride sa mundong toh!!!

*at isa na koh dun.. hehehe...*

[kung nababasa mo toh ngayon, alam mo na kung sino kah.. kung nagtataka ka kung ba't hindi kita pinapansin, un e, kung nagtataka ka lang, hindi ako galit saio o kung kanino man.. hindi koh lang kayang lunukin ung pride koh.. ewan koh bah! basta, sorry sa pang-iisnab koh.. hindi koh sinasadya.. sana maintindihan mo koh.. babawi ako.. kung bibigyan mo koh ng isa pang pagkakataon.. sa totoo lang, inaantay kasi kitang magsalita e.. natatakot kasi ako na baka sa oras na lumapit ako saio.. hai.. basta. cguro duwag lang talaga koh.. cguro kasi natakot akong masaktan noon, at hanggang ngayon, di koh magawang matanggap ang katotohanan sa takot kong mawala saken ang isa sa mhahalagang tao sa buhay koh.. sana maintindihan mo..]

+pasencia na kung tagalog nanaman ha?!.. at kung ganyan ang mga pinaglalalagay koh.. walang pakelamanan ng blog okei? hehe! basta.. alam nio na kung baket ganyan.. hehe!+

senti mode.. again.

2005-11-21T23:32:00.000+08:00

a friend of mine sent me a very heart-warming (?) quote yesterday.. the quote says..

"if he was the one who would hurt me..
it wouldn't really matter..
the truth is,
he can slit my throat and
with my last breath..
i'd apologize for bleedin' on his shirt.. :("

the quote really had an impact on me. it is for a fact, a statement of a martyr but still, it just reflected how much the girl loved the guy to the point that she is willing to get hurt, just to show and let the guy feel how much she loves him. it might sound really stupid.. but to some, it's not.

this 2nd quote was sent to me by another friend..

"a part of me died when i let you go.
it was not easy..
but for you it was..
i was not suppose to fall..
but i did.
it was not easy too.
what will i choose if both will end up painful? :("

and this last quote is the one that really caught my attention..

"hirap magmahal ng lihim,
kunwari may mahal kang 'iba',
pero siya talaga ang mahal mo.

'di ka makalapit kasi alam mong iba
ang mahal niya..

pero pano kung kunwari
ring may mahal siyang 'iba'..

pero ang totoo ikaw ang mahal niya?"

..senti quotes ei?.. there's a lot more. but sometimes, these quotes help us express the things that we could not express to someone through our own words.. hope it makes sense.

much better

2005-11-19T23:18:00.000+08:00

yup!.. i'm feelin' much better now compared these past few days..

i attended my nstp class this morning. i had to attend it coz i was absent last week. i was so lazy to get out of the bed that's why i decided not to go to school last saturday. anyways, our nstp class didn't take much time. we started at around 9.10am and ended at more or less 10.40am. my friends namely, rox, nikki, mark, karla and i went to atc to chill. we had a hard time getting a cab. the first cab driver was asking us to pay him 300bucks coz he didn't have a sticker daw. the 2nd one told us that it was too traffic in that area [atc]. the 3rd one won't let us ride coz he's going to manila. we got pissed off so we just rode a trike going to toyota and rode a jeep going to mcdo atc.

while riding on the jeep, mark paid for our fare. he gave 30bucks to the.. uhm.. 'conductor' of that jeep. [sosyal?] "ma, bayad po. limang town center. studyante." the conductor told us that if we cannot show him any id, there will be no discount. and besides, its saturday. we told him that we have a class every sat and that we are still students even on weekends and vacations. the conductor started to say stuff like "sabado linggo walang studya-studyante." mark got pissed off so he argued with the conductor. since his dad's working in ltfrb [whatever you call that office about transportation and stuff..], he knew his rights as a student. he then said this line which made the conductor shut his mouth, "wag nio ngang i-surpass ang rights nameng mga studyante!" there. at that very moment the conductor shut his mouth up coz maybe, just maybe, he could not comprehend what mark just told him. hehehe! nice one mark! ;)

when we arrived at mcdo, we ate our lunch and then rox went home. her brother arrived early so she had to go. nikki, mark, karla and i went to atc to walk around and chill. after some walking, karla gay went home and mark went to his derma for his check up. nikki and i were left and we just continued walking all over atc and looking for stuff that we can give our friends for christmas.

i was able to buy a green banana peel flops. it's cute! and very cheap! hehehe! ;)

we went home at around 2.30pm. we were suppose to ride a jeep going to festival mall but nikki told me that we should try to walk from atc to festi. i was shocked at first coz it's too tiring to walk such a long distance. but because of our 'trip'.. we successfully reached festi by mere walking from atc. haha! it was really cool though. and it was a total bonding day for us.

"i love you nikki! muah!ü"

well, it was really a tiring day for us but we really enjoyed it. hehehe!

*thank God for the eye-opening talk that ate grace and i had this evening.ü it makes me see and feel how much God loves me. it really eased the pain and made me a lot better.ü*

tryin'..

2005-11-18T20:57:00.000+08:00

i'm tryin' so hard..
i'm doin' my very best
to stand up..
to cope up.

i gave my everythin'
without keeping somethin' for myself..
it's my fault, my fault..
i don't blame you..
i never will.

i'm tryin' so hard..
i'm doin' my very best
to stand up..
to cope up.

i failed again
for i hoped too much.
i was wrong..
i knew it..
it's my fault.

i allowed myself to fall..
to be drowned in that ocean..
the ocean which i thought
would save me..
but it did the opposite.

now i'm tryin' so hard..
i'm doin' my very best
to stand up..
to cope up.

lastly,
i ask you to hear my plead..
just be there.. be there i pray..
never leave.. pls never go..
hear me pls.. i beg you..
i will try so hard
to stand up from this
great fall..
just pls.. oh pls..
dont walk away.

weird..

2005-11-17T21:30:00.000+08:00

hai nko.. magtatanong tanong.. tapos iiyak iyak.. klase naman yan!! sino bang 'tanga'??? wala naman! tsss.. pambihirang buhay itetch! ever talaga..

pero tama na drama.. d ako susuko.. di ako titigil.. whatever happens.. i will fight for it.. di koh lam kung pano.. pero gagawin koh.. but for now..

..hingi lang ako ng konting time para ilabas tong nararamdaman koh.. wait lang ha?.. iiiyak koh lang hanggang maubos na.. at sana pag gising koh bukas.. wala na ang sakit na nararamdaman koh..

..drama noh? di rin..

pasencia na kaio kung tagalog toh ha.. kelangan koh lang ilabas.. minsan lang toh..[sana] kaia pagbigyan nio na koh...

a blessing from the Almighty

2005-11-06T17:31:00.000+08:00

anung mas maganda?.. ung black o ung white?!.. mom koh kc pumili e.. as in cia pumili ng fone at color. himala nga binilhan ako ng fone ng di pa koh nagsasabing bilhan ako. hahahaha.. asteeg tlga!.. sbi nia ren kc dati, d na nia koh bibilhan ng fone pag nasira ung fone koh.. pero.. haha! asteeg tlga.. nag birthday daw kc koh tska taas mga grades koh.. pero thank God pa ren coz if ndi Cia nagprovide ng money, d ako bibilhan ni mommy ng fone. God's will na tlaga cguro na magkaron ako ng new fone. kakatuwa tlga! super bait ni Lord!

last week, tuesday, nov. 1, 2005, my fone was broken. badtrip! i was texting with my bestfriend when my fone broke. grrrr.. i dont know why did it happen. maybe my fone was just a loser fone or whatever. hehe! nah.. its actually a cute fone. [that was my 7th fone.. huhuhuh..] haii.. oh well, it was kinda boring. no fone for uhm.. almost 2 days. but a miracle did happen. ü wednesday night, on our way home from church, i was holding my 1100 fone [ung sira] and i was wishing, well actually declaring, that tomorrow morning, when i wake up, my fone's gonna work. then i suddenly thought that tomorrow, i will be able to get a new fone. well, it looks like i was just dreaming or what but i was kinda excited. well, to make the long story short.. thursday evening, when my mom went home, she gave me a new fone! *hurray! hurray!*
my mom bought the white one. i was asking her why didnt she buy the black one coz i really love black.. but she told me that the white one was better. soo.. un. hehe! oh well, thank God for this blessing! :D

x-10-ion

last friday, my churchmates and i went to e.k. to chill. hehe! gosh! a lot of people were there! maybe bec. it was a holiday [nov. 4]. the weird thing was, there were more or less 10 buses parked at the parking lot. a lot of students, from pre-school to high school had their field trip on that day. [why would you have a field trip there? may matututunan ka ba dun? o pag-aaralan nio ung carousel?!] nweiz, bec. of the big number of people that went to e.k. that day, we were fortunate enough to ride 5 rides. and guess what? you have to line up and wait for an hour and a half before you can have the oppurtunity to ride. to think that each ride lasts for only 3-10 mins [depending on what ride you chose to ride on]. haii, hassle. but still we enjoyed. we're planning to go back to e.k. this december during weekdays, meaning we will skip class or actually not go to school for one day just to have fun. well, that's life! and i'm willing to go there again even if there's a lot of things to do in school. hehe!ü [nakakasira ng barkada ang pag-aaral!! hahahahaha!] oh well, try to go there. so sad i wasnt able to ride the anchor's away. hahahah! [anu bah.. tama n nga lai! watda!haha.. lakas!]

that's it! ill just put the pix here when i get to transfer them from my fone to my pc. heheh! tc! ü

a walk to remember..

2005-10-21T22:25:00.000+08:00

yap.. that's right. a walk to remember. hmmm..

its friday, my blockmates and i were suppose to meet at sisc at 10am. they arrived there at 8am and i arrived at 11am. [hehe!.. sorry guys!.. foodtrip kc kme ng churchmates koh kahpon e.. hehe!..] we went there to have our final exam in IC1. we thought we would be finished at around 1pm but eventually we ended at 4. haii.. right after the final exam, i, drew, pat, and abel, went to festi to meet nikki and rocel. sad to say, on our way to festi, nikki texted us and told us that there was an emergency and that she needed to go home at once. rocel went home as well coz nikki had already left. when we arrived at festi, we ate at sbarro and then went to xsite. landon followed us at festi. we met him at the cinemas coz he wanted to watch a movie. drew, landon, and i watched deuce bigalow while pat and abel didnt join us for some reasons. [privacy?.. hmm.. hehe! love you pat!..ü]

after the movie, drew went home together with pat and abel. i rode with landon.

when we, landon and i, were walking in the parking lot, he suddenly ran and hid somewhere. when i found him, he said, "o! how did u find me??" [hello, sa laki mong yan d kta mhhnap? hehe!.. may attitude problem ka ren noh? prang ako!.. hahahha!..] anyways, going back to the story, he told me that he wanted to go to sisc and watch the battle of the bands. i told him i dont have enough money to purchase a ticket but he still insisted. he started the car and went out of festi's grounds and viola! ANG TRAFFIC!!!!! okei.. landon started to say stuff.. asking himself why is it so traffic. he tried to find another way but then it was of no use. still traffic. we just chatted while we waited for the cars to move. hmmmm.. at last.. we're near mcdo atc. i started saying the word "mcdo" many times with different tones. he then said that he will park his car at mcdonald's, leave it there and get it at around 11pm. he actually suggested for us to walk home. i thought he was just joking. but he wasnt.

haii..

he bought a hot fudge sundae for me and twister fries for him. we stayed there, chatted while we ate until 9.15pm. [not really the exact time.] after eating, we started walking. we walked from mcdo atc to toyota and from there rode a trike. while we were walking, we really had a good conversation, which started when we were still inside his car, stucked in the traffic. hmm.. that's it. hehe!..

oh well, thaks guys! i really enjoyed the day!.. [night?! ewan!] "thanks for the sundae!.. ung promise mo pla saken.. bka magkalimutan!.. hehe!.. Godbless!..ü"

*~*~*~*~* i forgot to tell you something *~*~*~*~*

..we didnt watch the battle of the bands coz its too late and we're both exhausted bec. of our activities for today. plus the heavy traffic thing. heheh!..

food trip!..

2005-10-20T22:10:00.000+08:00

its 7.30am and my fone keeps on beeping. when i checked it, my fone was alarming, telling me to wake up and get ready coz i have an appointment at 10.30am. i turned the alarm off and went back to bed. [what a sleepyhead!..] hehe! at exactly 7.45am i opened my eyes, stood up and convinced myself that i cannot be late. i have to meet my friends at exactly 10.30am! hmmm.. okei, so i walked out of my room, went straight in the bathroom, took a bath, get dressed and at exactly 9am, i was ready to go. when i saw my mom, i asked her how would i be able to go to church. [im gonna meet my churchmates there and then we'll all proceed at g2.] she told me to ask my dad to bring me there but then she changed her mind and told me that i should just go with her to her office and tell my friends that i will just meet them at g2. so we went to her office and i texted my friends that i'll meet them at g2. they told me to meet them at mcdo at 12.30pm.

its 12.30pm and my mom accompanied me to g2. i met with my friends and proceeded to chili's greenbelt. we had our lunch there. hmmmm.. yummy foods. hehehe!.. [take note, that was our first meal together as a group for this day.] after having our "heavy" lunch, we chatted for a while and then met with ate gra's parents, pastor efren and pastor cora, at g2 and they gave us a ride going to westgate. okei.. at westgate, we ate 3 orders of banana split at cafe breton. [this is our 2nd meal.. hehe!.. and oh, there are only 5 of us, all girls.ü] hmmm.. less than an hour, we went to atc.. we walked. hehe!.. we met with kale there and ate at pizza hut where there was this waiter who keeps on making pacute to us. [maybe its bec. of ate gra or kale or ewan. hahaha!..] we ordered one pizza but our stomachs didnt have enough space for it so we just brought the half home to our friend. [this is our 3rd meal!..] after eating, kale went home and the five of us, ate gra, tin, ivy, abi, and i, went to church to rest for a while and afterwards we visited pam, who lives in the same village where our church is located. during our stay at pam's house, they gave us chips and drinks. we were so full so they just asked us to bring it home with us. hehe!..

haii.. whatta day!.. food trip to the max!..ü

i LoVe yOu, SEMBREAK!!

2005-10-17T20:33:00.000+08:00

its the first day of our most awaited sembreak. hmm.. we should be all rejoicing. why? aba!.. no more computations, no grammar, no thesis, no reports, no projects, no quizzes, no assigns, no profs! for 3 whole weeks!.. that's almost a month. hmmm.. we should be rejoicing, but.. our block, bsn1a, still have to do some things this week. like the "exhibit" thing [we volunteered to help sir dacela and sir labor kc e!but its fun!ü] and our presentation on wed during the "party hard, study harder" event. imagine, its a somewhat party for the college students and yet we are required to present our so-called 'rhythmic dance' chuvaness. haii buhay!.. but anyways, i might as well be proud of our block. we got a 100 in our final exam in physical education bec. of that. hehe! whatever..

soo.. its already our sembreak. the REAL sembreak. [coz back in high school, they give us 1 week vacation, or sometimes 3-day vacation, and they call that sembreak. it sucks!hehe! sarap sa kolehiyo! haha!] im planning to relax [somehow].. but im also planning to have a 'sembreak job' in my mom's office. hehe!.. well, that's a good idea.. i would earn money during this sembreak through working in my mom's office where i get to eat for free [coz i dont have to buy my own food using my money coz my mom's there to give me money, other than my salary, to buy food], watch a movie for free [coz my mom's gonna pay for it], shop for free [same reason], go to places for free [coz my mom's gonna pay for my fare] and get out of the house for free. haha.. whatver! ;)

hmmm.. i might as well sum this up.. soo.. tata! hehe! :)

*i LoVe yOu, SEMBREAK!!*

--to those ppol who are interested to watch the battle of the bands on friday, the event will start at 6pm at the gym 2. typecast and kapatid would also be playing that night. hehe!.. one question.. where can we buy a ticket?.. hehe! thanx!.. ü

finals nah!!

2005-10-07T20:26:00.000+08:00

<-- meet our beloved prof in philosophy!! sir dacela.. hehehe! [nice one maix! stolen shot!ü]

haii... FINALS NA!!!! c'mon.. its been a very terrible [huh?] and torturing [watda?!!] hell week for us. thesis in filipino, oral defense in filipino, taping for our project in philo, and the ever famous oral examination in philosophy. today, oct. 7, 2005, was the last day fo the oral examination and the students of sir dacela were all going crazy bout this. we were all in panic. everyone's praying hard to pass. it was terrible im telling you. he seem to have a very bad day so he was kinda asking us questions na super hirap! spookifying..! haii.. i dont wanna elaborate on this topic more coz im.. ugh! ewan! i answered question # 5 which is about the Aristotelian Ethics and.. ugh! guess what!! mental block men! huhuhu... even if i was able to answer all the questions that he asked me but still.. i know what i did a while ago was so.. lame?.. ugh! basta.. hehe!

hmmm.. change topic. after class, around 3pm, my friends and i went to atc to chill out and have some fun. well actually just to eat our super late lunch. we ate at the food choices and there we waited for our friends. jani met her bestfriend, chris a.k.a kuya dog [aww-aww! hehe!]. rocel and joie were also there with their bedan friends. nikki, pat, drew, ives, and i just sat there and laughe our hearts out. [whahaha.... kung alam nio lang!! super laugh trip tlga!!ü] at around 5.45pm, i went home.

haii.. tinatamad akong magkwento ngayon.. bawi ako. hehe! tc!ü

*lapit na sembreak!! woohoo!!*

learning the art of cramming

2005-09-25T16:55:00.000+08:00

okei.. im feeling a lot better now. i still have some colds but im doin fine now. today, i should be doing my thesis in filipino but procrastination hit me once again. hehe! i decided to go solo in doing my thesis. we were given a choice kasi if we want to do it by pairs or individually. army and i decided to do it individually and now im attcked by laziness. hehe! and besides, im really having a hard time translating english words to filipino. grrr.. hai. and guess what? the deadline of our thesis is on sept. 30. this means... ITS CRAMMING TIME!!!

hmmm.. what to write..? ahh, i know. yesterday.. sept. 24, saturday, we had our nstp class and last friday we were asked to go to school before 8am on saturday morning. [gets nio?] anyways, it was raining so hard and we really are expecting that after waiting for about 2hours at the school lobby, they will cancel the trip or the said surveying activity that day. sad to say, it did not happen. they still sent us to do the surveying even if there is a great down pour. huhuhu.. we were wet! our shoes were soaking in water [not clean water.. huhuhu.. wawang mga rubber shoes.. if only they could speak..]and our pants and nstp shirts were like really wet. grr.. our jackets were of no use. after the 1-hour surveying that we had, we went back to the assembly place and waited for the vans to bring us back to heaven, i mean school. while waiting, joie and pat shared with one umbrella while sir franco and i shared with his red hyundai umbrella. we chatted and made fun of some stuff.. people. hehe! mean girls. [sory nah! nagkatuwaan lang!.. harharhar!!ü]

----..guess what, mukha tlga kmeng mga BASANG-SISIW! haii..----

back in school, ms. pasigan checked the attendance and after that the three of us, tammy, hannah, and i rushed to our homes. hehe! when i got home, i ate lunch and took a shower, get dressed and went straight to the parlor with my mom. i had a haircut and i think its a bit short than i expected. i look like a high school student, especially when i tie it in pigtails. hehe! oh well, one-of-a-kind-adventure. not to mention the consequences we encountered after that trip. ives had a terrible high fever, i am still suffering from colds and cough just like my other blockmates. saya noh? next week, the rotaract club will be joining us. is that a good news or not?.. for those people who are aware of what's happening, help me answer this question.

"hai life.. parang buhay."

ATTENTION!! TO THOSE PEOPLE WHO ARE AWARE OF WHAT'S HAPPENING IN MY ENTIRE BODY SYSTEM AND LIFE.. ANSWER THIS QUESTION...
"The Rotaract Club will be joining our NSTP next week.. is that a good news or not?" THANKS!! COMMENT KAIO HA!!üü

Melancholy in the Face of Happiness... is it becoming real?

2005-09-23T22:12:00.000+08:00

is it becoming real? if it is.. what could the reason be?.. why now? why again..? ugh..!

im sick. im not feeling well physically, emotionally, and psychologically. [uhh... im not really sure with the latter.hehe] i have colds and im having a difficulty breathing, speaking, and moving because of this. i always feel sleepy and exhausted. i cant speak well coz my voice sucks. i cant move properly coz im having a difficulty breathing so i am encountering heart burns and stuff like that. i hate being sick. ugh..!

emotionally speaking, i cant really describe nor explain what i am really feeling at the moment. i always start happy but eventually end up feeling down,restless, and so low. i dont know if its because of my exhaustion or there are other reasons.

psychologically? uhm.. ewan.. cnama koh lng knna.. nkkabaliw na kc mga ngyayare e..

oh well, i still have a class to catch tom so havtah go now..

HAIL TO THE CHAMPIONS!!!!

2005-09-22T22:29:00.000+08:00

the clock struck at 7pm and the PINK and red teams are preparing for the much awaited championship game. the coaches from each team were saying their last instructions to the team. alas! the game started! the PINK team played great even at the start of the game. they have kept their discipline and really had a great teamwork. all throughout the first half of the game, the PINK team was intensely playing, passionately doing their one-of-a-kind moves. on the second half, however, the red team was able to catch up with the PINK team's score. at the end of the second half, the red team was about to win with a 39-38 score [in favor of the red team of course] but ed acosta [go pards of jani! woohoo!!] was able to get that free throw and *poof!* it became koko crunch! nah.. hehe! that free throw, which is equivalent to 1 point, became the reason for the scores to tie [39-39] and eventually have an overtime of 10mins. during that 10min overtime, the PINK team was able to do their one-of-a-kind-not-to-mention-cool-moves and eventually WIN the TOPSPOT!!! yes! you heard, rather you've ead it right!! PINK TEAM WON THE TOPSPOT!! THE PINK TEAM IS NOW RULING THE COLLEGE CUP!! whahaha!!üü ROCK ON GUYS!!!

to give you guys a little info about this PINK team, they had the title "UNBEATABLE" coz no other team has ever put them down. even tonight, the red team was not able to defeat the PINK team! considering the fact that the PINK team is composed of freshmen guys. [asteeg dbuh??ü] they were really UNBEATABLE TIL THE END!! woohhoo!! rock on guyz!!üü

CONGRATULATIONS AGAIN TO THE PINK TEAM!!ü

SPECIAL MENTION TO THE MVP THIS SEASON'S COLLEGE CUP [basketball of course!], ED ACOSTA!!üü

~you all did a great job!! *for those players who weren't able to play tonight, don't you worry! you still did a great job in cheering the team with us! hehe! I LOVE PINK TEAM!!*~

^-^happenings or better yet, my feelings before, during, and after the game^-^

**before the game, i wasnt really feling well coz of my condition.. seems like im having an on-and-off fever since monday and also im having difficulty breathing coz of my colds. also was kinda pissed off coz SHE'S just sitting near our place! i can see her with my peripheral view. harharhar.. whatever! grr.. "HAI NKO!! DIYOSA AKO PAG TINABI CIA SAKEN!! LAHAT TAIO DIYOSA PAG CIA ANG KATABI!!" <-- nice one tamica! haha!üü

i was kinda feeling bored and sleepy bec. of, as i said, my condition. [i just hope i wont be suffering dengue fever or what bec of these.. blah blah blah..]

**during the game.. at first i wasnt that energetic to cheer for PINK team but as the game gets intense and hot, i jumped into my feet and started shouting and screaming "GO PINK TEAM!! GO RENZ!! GO BERTO!! WOOHHOO!!". maix, kathy and i, together with joie started dancing and doing some silly stunts to cheer fo the PINK team. hehe! WE WON!!!üü have to go home after the game..

**after the game.. we were so excited to know and witness the victory of the PINK team!! AND..... still having this thought that.. "DIYOSA PARIN AKO KUMPARA KAY .....!!! WOOHOOOO!! BANO TEAM NILA!!!" <--rude isnt it? hehe.. pagbigyan nio nako.. minsan lng yan! wahahaha!! PINK RULES!!! ;)

okei.. that's all!! term paper mode!!üü

ü ! [WHITE team!! sbi ni lolo ryu next sem kaio na daw ang kalaban ng PINK sa championship! ill expect that, aiytz?! ;) torn bet. two teams ako nun! whahahaha!! love yah all!! GO PINK!! GO WHITE!!] ! ü

Melancholy in the Face of Happiness (Kapighatian sa Likod ng Kasiyahan)

2005-09-20T21:50:00.000+08:00

*i dunno if the title's right or what.. can't think clearly anymore..*

im feeling a lot better now compared yesterday. i was sick. i think i was able to catch the flu virus. eeeehh.. i had fever yesterday.. slight one. whatever...

just this morning i was feeling okei. as in REAL okei. i was so happy and so jolly. rocel, nikki and i together with some friends from BSN-1D were having fun chattin' and trippin'. we were laughing our hearts out and it was really a fine day. everything went fine but the strange feeling started when we were having our filipino 1 class. we were asked to do a speech of our own topic and eventually i made one. [thank God! i almost failed to pass on time coz i really can't think of any topic to write about.] anyways, i finally decided on what topic i should write about and it was "Kapighatian sa Likod ng Kasiyahan" [Melancholy in the Face of Happiness]. i wrote everything that i am feeling. how hard it is to pretend and to let everybody see that you're happy even if deep inside you can feel the pain that slowly kills you, how difficult it is to put a smile on your face when you know that everything's not going right, how it feels to be laughed at when you are going through some difficult dilemmas in life, and how hard it is for a person to admit that he/she is not fine.

i don't really know why did i write that speech or where in the world did i get that idea.. all i know is that, it's true. 100% real. everybody encounters such feeling. some survives, others don't. some people who knows their "archimedean point" survives coz they know that they can get through with what they are experiencing by simply taking hold of that which defines them. but sad to say, some, or rather many people fail to see what defines them. they fail to discover that one sure thing that defines them. too bad they end up killing themselves bec. they lost their real meaning. that real thing which defines them. im speaking too much of philosophy.. enough with this.

i just hope that the article that i thought of, or the topic for the article/feature/whatever that i thought of would pass their standards. well if not.. then better luck next time, laii.

i really can't understand nor can i explain this strange feeling that came into me. haii.. bahala na.. kaia yan.

*SISC PEEPZ.. raffle tickets are still for sale. i got 10 more tickets left. pls buy. its not just a waste of money, 100s of people will be blessed from your 10peso contribution. let us at least learn how to reach out to our fellowmen even in this simple way. thanx. God will be the One to repay you for your goodness.ü*

thanks for droppin' by, El Presidente!!Ü

2005-09-19T20:48:00.000+08:00

hehehe.. i checked my blog after i posted my latest entry and saw that one of my entries entitled "TICKETS FOR SALE!!" already had 4 comments. just yesterday it only had three, but now.. hehe! oh well, thanx for droppin' by.. El Presidente. its an honor to see/read your comments on my posts. hehe! [bigtime.. EIC yan peepz! we're talking about ryu uchida here! harharhar..!]

til next time!ü

tc n Godbless!ü sayonara!!

a good start

2005-09-19T19:04:00.000+08:00

just this afternoon, my friends, hannah and kat told me that the EIC of Collegiate Mover just allowed me to write on our school paper. hannah actually started it. she was asked by kuya ryu, the EIC, to write a feature for the Mover, besides the column that she wrote, so this means extra work for her. haha! she doesn't want to have an extra work coz she has lots of things to do so she asked me to do it for kuya ryu. it's not really a requirement but i was interested with the offer. i told her that i'll be the one to write but her name will be placed on the featue but she didn't agree. it will not be fair daw for me. i told her that it was fine and it was my idea also but still, hannah did not agree. and so it goes.. until this day. hehe! i told my mom about the news and she told me that it was a good start. she really wanted me to join the Mover.

now i only have one dilemma.. WHAT TOPIC SHOULD I WRITE ABOUT??? hahaha.. funny? yah.. nervous..? SUPER!! what if my work is not good to be placed in the school paper? what if.. haha! whatever!

hmmm.. HELP GUYS!! I NEED A VERY INTERESTING FEATURE.. hehehe! i really dreamt of writing on the school paper.. now is a good chance.. but i have to prove myself.. HELP!! pls?? THANX SO MUCH!!

*God help me!!ü*

"Landas ng Alaala"

2005-09-18T18:24:00.000+08:00

last term, we were asked to make a short story in filipino 1 and criticize our own work. i got a 100 for it! =P hehe.. soo.. ill share it with you guys.. here it goes.

*Paalala: Ang mga tauhan sa maikling kwentong ito ay pawang mga kathang-isip lamang.*

“Ang Landas ng Alaala”

Ang dami nanamang tao dito sa canteen. Alasingko na ng hapon kaya dumarami na ang mga taong tumatambay dito habang hinihintay ang kani-kanilang mga sundo. Naalala ko dati, lagi akong tumatambay dito sa canteen dahil madalas kaming nagkikita ni Francis. Bago ang lahat, ako nga pala si Samantha Marie Aranza. Isa akong nursing student sa Southville International School and Colleges. Dito sa paaralang ito nakilala ko si Francis Mendoza. Nakilala ko siya sa isang school organization na sinalihan ko. Isang musical organization ang sinalihan namen at ito rin ang org. na naglapit saming dalawa. Mabait siya, makulit, at masayahing tao. Sa nasabing organisasyon ko rin nakilala si Jerold Ibañez. Matalino si Jerold kaya siya naging top 5 sa dean’s list. Magaling siyang magsulat at marami siyang sinasalihang mga school organizations dahil gusto niyang makatulong hindi lamang sa kapwa estudyante ngunit pati na rin sa mga nangangailangan. Mas madali akong napalapit kay Francis dahil mas palakaibigan siya kumpara kay Jerold. Pareho silang naglalaro ng basketball at magkabarkada rin sila. Nung umpisa pa lamang ay gusto ko na si Jerold dahil sa taglay niyang katalinuhan at itsura. Gwapo rin si Francis pero hindi ko siya agad nagustuhan dahil parang kapatid lang ang tingin ko sa kaniya.

Hindi pa kami ganun kalapit sa isa’t isa ni Francis nang malaman niyang nagkakagusto ako sa kaibigan niya. Lagi niya kong inaasar kay Jerold hanggang sa nalaman na ni Jerold ang aking lihim. Pero ayos lang sakin yun dahil hindi naman ako ganun kaseryoso kay Jerold dahil alam kong may mahal siyang iba. Pinigilan ko na ang sarili ko sa pagkakahulog sa kaniya dahil alam kong masasaktan lang ako. Mahal na mahal ni Jerold si Catherine at kahit hindi siya sinagot nito, umaasa pa rin siyang balang-araw ay mapapa-ibig din niya ito. Takot na akong masaktang muli kaya hindi ko na hinayaang mahalin ko pa si Jerold. Magkaibigan naman kami at hanggang dun na lamang siguro yun. Nariyan naman ang aking mabait na kaibigan na si Francis upang damayan ako at pasayahin ako sa mga oras na nalulungkot ako dahil kay Jerold. Itinuon ko ang aking pansin sa aking pag-aaral, mga kaibigan, at sa Diyos. Sa mga oras at panahon na kinukumbinsi ko ang sarili koh na ‘wag nang mahalin si Jerold, hindi ako iniwan ni Francis. Hindi man niya alam ang lahat ng pinagdadaanan at nararamdaman ko, nariyan pa rin siya para damayan at samahan ako. Sa canteen kami laging nagkikita at nagpapalipas-oras ni Francis. Kinakantahan at kinakausap lang niya ako habang ginagawa ko ang mga pinapagawa niya takdang-aralin sakin. Unti-unti kaming napalapit sa isa’t isa at madalas naitatanong ng mga kaibigan at kapwa mag-aaral ko kung may relasyon kaming dalawa. “Magkaibigan lang kami ni Francis, bakit niyo ba binibigyan ng malisya ang pagiging malapit namin sa isa’t isa?” mariing sagot ko sa mga tanong nila. Oo, magkaibigan lang kami. Hindi nagtagal ay unti-unti rin akong nahulog kay Francis. Wala akong sinabihan tungkol sa bagay na ito bukod sa apat kong malalapit na kaibigan dahil natatakot ako na kapag nalaman ni Francis ay lumayo siya sakin. Kung titingnan mo kami, para lang kaming magkapatid. Mag-kuya. Pinilit kong pigilin ang aking nararamdaman ngunit tila masyado itong malakas na hindi ko kayang kontrolin. Nagtagal ang aming pagkakaibigan at naging mas malapit pa sa isa’t isa. Nakikita at nakakasama ko pa rin si Jerold sa organization at hindi ko maitatanggi na kahit papaano ay may kaunti pa rin akong nararamdaman para sa kaniya. Nasasaktan pa rin ako sa tuwing makikita ko siyang nakatingin kay Catherine at sa tuwing nilalapitan siya nito at kinakausap. Nararamdaman ko kasi ang sakit na nadarama niya sa tuwing makikita niya si Catherine. Bakit ba kasi hindi mo makitang narito lang ako? Bakit hindi mo maramdaman na nasasaktan ako para sa’yo? Matagal rin bago ko tuluyang nakalimutan si Jerold. Hinayaan ko na ang sarili kong mahulog ng tuluyan kay Francis pero hindi ko ipinapaalam sa kaniya ito. Ipinagpatuloy lang namin ang aming magandang samahan.

Makalipas ang ilang buwan, si Francis pa rin ang lagi kong kasa-kasama at ang kaisa-isang lalaki sa puso ko. Hindi pa rin niya alam at wala na akong balak na sabihin pa. Sa panahong ito, may isang hindi inaasahang pangyayari ang naganap. Naging malapit si Jerold sa amin ni Francis, lalo na sa akin, at nagpapahiwatig ng kanyang damdamin. Anong gusto mong ipahiwatig, Jerold? Na mahal mo na ako ngayon? Bakit ngayon pa...? Bakit…? Naramdaman ni Francis na mayroong ibig ipahiwatig si Jerold. Napagtanto niyang may pagtingin na sa akin ang kanyang kaibigan. Pero hindi maaari. Si Francis na ang mahal ko ngayon! Nagtapat ng kanyang pag-ibig sakin si Jerold sa Gym 2. Pero sa kasamaang palad, hindi ko na tinanggap ang pag-ibig niya dahil mahal na mahal ko na si Francis nang mga oras na iyon. Nagulat si Francis sa desisyon ko at laking pagtataka niya. “Hindi ko maintindihan, mahal na mahal mo si Jerold noon at sigurado akong mahal mo pa rin siya pero bakit mo siya tinanggihan?” Dahil ikaw ang mahal ko. Napabulong na lamang ako sa sarili. Ipinaliwanag ko kay Francis ang aking dahilan kasabay ng pag-amin na siya talaga ang mahal ko. Ipinaliwanag ko rin na kaya hindi ko sinabi sa kaniya ay dahil natatakot akong mawala siya sa akin bilang isang mabuti kong kaibigan at dahil alam kong masasaktan rin naman ako. Kung iniisip niyong umamin din ng kanyang pag-ibig sakin si Francis ay nagkakamali kayo. Hindi niya ko mahal. Kaibigan at kapatid lamang ang tingin niya sa akin. Mga bagay na hindi na bago sakin. Oo, masakit ngunit kailangan kong tanggapin. May iba siyang mahal at un ay ang kasintahan niya ngayon na si Jaimee. Hindi na kami nagkakasama simula nang maging sila ni Jaimee pero masaya ko para sa kanila. Si Jerold naman ay itinuon ang pansin sa pag-aaral at mga school activities para makalimot. At ako? Narito, nakaupo, nakatambay sa canteen, pilit na kinakalimutan ang sakit, lungkot, at saya na naramdaman at naranasan ko noon.

*hope you enjoyed reading it! hehe.. quite long? naah.. its just a story okei? nothin' really personal.ü*

white-white ; white-red.. which is which?

2005-09-16T21:51:00.000+08:00

the rain is totally heavy. classes were suspended and atc was filled with students coming from different schools. my friends and i watched "The Brothers Grimm" and totally enjoyed the movie. we saw some "friends" and had a little chit chat with one another. today was supposedly a mufti day but was moved next week.

im not really that interested to make a post now because of some circumstances. ill go ahead.

sweet tooth

2005-09-15T21:22:00.000+08:00

i was late for my p.e class today. i arrived at SISC at 8.35am because i went home late last night. my parents and i, together with some of our churchmates, visited the funeral of one of our churchmates at manila memorial park. anyways, i woke up at around 7.30am and i was really feeling sick that's why i can't move quickly. during our p.e class, i taught my groupmates some steps for our presentation in p.e. we were assigned to use arnis and we really had a hard time formulating steps for our apparatus. before presenting what steps we have already done, we manage to make a simple yet good presentation. ms. bulay commended us for doing a great job for presenting a good presentation. hehe.. [do i sound redundant? haha.. whatever.]

after p.e, math class comes next. sir tito discussed some new topics about relation and function but i wasn't that interested to listen that's why i just sat there on my chair and chatted with my blockmates. i was also designing pat's card for her bf.

lunch time : TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THE CANTEEN!!! UGH!! GRRRRR!!!
*good thing i brought a packed lunch, my friend, bea and i had our lunch in our classroom.*

after lunch, we had a debate in our filipino class. we lost. so sad. :(

during our art app class, renz and marqus continued their report and afterwards gave us a quiz. *what's my score, huh??* after the quiz, our group started reporting but we lack time so we will continue our report next tuesday.

DISMISSAL TIME!! it's so early and i don't wanna go home yet. kat, raston, gino and i stayed at the walk way near gym 2. gino went home as soon as his uncle picked him up. marqus saw us by the walk way and went there. he asked for some coins and asked me to go with him at the store. we bought some "hany" [the rival of "chocnut"] and ate. hehe.. wla lngz. *thinking..*
blah, blah, blah.... at around 5.30pm, the three of us went in the gym 2 and watched the people there do their things. some were practicing for tomorrow's college cup 3 finals, some were rehearsing their dance for tom's event also, high school volleyball varsity boys division were having their training, and some, like us, were just sitting there watching them. hehe!

my dad picked me up at around 6.20pm and there. i went home. hehe! *gusto koh pa ng hany, i want something sweet. nabitin ako dun sa kinain koh. grrr... "marqus! libre mo koh hany bukas ah!!"*

TICKETS FOR SALE!!

2005-09-14T18:53:00.000+08:00

okei.. my friend's asking me if i have made a new post in my blog so i decided to make one now. i am currently chatting with her, asking her what i should write here. i cant think of anything. [wait my mom's here. *kiss*] hmmm.. now what should i write?

hannah, my friend who was asking if i have a new post, is forcing me to write a feature, which is her task, for our school paper. i am not a member of the school paper staff and she's asking me to do it? haha.. funny hannah..

well, i've always wanted to write on our school paper but i dont have the guts to join the Collegiate Mover. my friends keep on telling me that i write well but i just cant understand why i am so shy to join? maybe im just scared of being humiliated because of my flaws or whatever. im still thinking if i'll join the Mover next sem or not. "bahala na si batman."

still cant think of anythin to write.. haha! whatever..

hmmm.. lets see.. last week, i attended the Rotaract Club meeting so that i can join the said org. that day, kuya pao, the president of the club, and kuya/lolo [haha! peace!] ryu, the vp of the said org, presented to us the different projects that we have for this year. one of which is the "fund raising raffle". every Rotaract Club member was asked to sell raffle tickets at P10 each. kuya/lolo ryu gave us the tickets yesterday, 20 tickets each bundle. i started selling tickets today and i sold 6 tickets to 5 people, namely: kuya tats, tammy, charm, ives and bianca. kuya tats bought 2 tickets. also, today was our mufti day. the theme was "Think Green, Think Life." so everyone was expected to wear a green shirt or something that is green or that has green on it. those who will wear green stuff will pay P20 and those who will not wear green will have to pay P40. that is the rule of our mufti day. the said event is held once every month but this september, they decided to make our mufti day twice, so that means 2 mufti days for the month of september. also, the said mufti day is a fund raising event by the student council. anyways, last night, i prepared my clothes for our mufti day. green shirt, capri pants, belt, socks, rubber shoes, etc. after taking a bath this morning, i dressed up and saw that my shirt does not go with my pants so i changed it. i pulled my other green shirt out of my closet and had it pressed. unfortunately, something happend with my shirt so i asked our helper to get my blue-green shirt. i used it pala last week and it's still wet. i saw my blue shirt with #19 on it. i really wanted to wear this shirt since last week so i decided to use it. now... coincident or not?? WE are all wearing blue. hahahah.. funny!ü

"there is a fine line between coincidence and fate."

haha.. funny! now, i still cant figure out what to write here. hehehe!..ü

*bahala na si batman!!*

"okage sama de!ü oyasumi nasai!ü tc! Godbless!..ü"

ATTENTION!!! ALL SISC STUDENTS!! PLS SUPPORT THE ROTARACT CLUB. PLS PARTICIPATE IN THE "FUND RAISING RAFFLE" BY PURCHASING A TICKET/TICKETS FROM ANY ROTARACT CLUB MEMBER. EACH TICKET COSTS P10. LET US SUPPORT THE CLUB IN RAISING FUNDS TO BE USED IN REACHING OUT TO THE NEEDY. THANX AND GODBLESS!!ÜÜ

pink rules!!

2005-09-12T22:28:00.000+08:00

this 12th of september 2005, the semi-final games between pink and maroon teams was held at the gym 2. the game started at around 6pm and ended at around 7.10pm. the said teams were both strong, to think that pink was unbeatable. the pink team had its momentum at the start of the game and they never gave the maroon a single chance to cope up with their score. ed acosta gave 3 [well, that was the # of times i saw him do that awhile ago..]dazzling 3-point shots while renz cuenca did his moves. roberto cui was doing a great job blocking and rebounding the ball from the opponent as wilson tan scared them off with his height. hehe! fabian [sorry i dont have any idea what his name is], was so energetic in doing his moves and he definitely proved to us that he is really a good bball player. herbert quimpo also showed the crowd his talent in basketball. anthony de lara played great also tonight. every single player of the pink team showed and did their best to win and their teamwork and cooperation eventually led them to victory. however, there were players from the pink team who didn't had the chance to play tonight but i know they really did their best to cheer for their team. luv you guys!! [for the other players that did their part tonight yet i failed to mention here, maybe we're not just acquainted but you can count on me. one of the biggest fans of pink team!ü] anyway, the game ended with a 51-43 score in favor, of course, of the pink team.ü

for the maroon team, you will really see that they are really good in this sport but sad to say, the pink team was more powerful than they are. hehehe! if im not mistaken, there were only six or seven players of the maroon team that attended the semis.

there were also a number of people who showed up tonight. the white team watched the game and definitely gave their full support to the pink team. only 5 students of bsn1a showed up and witnessed their team's success. a group of nurses stayed on one side of the gym, some non-nursing students were also there and some parents and relatives of the players showed up.

oh well,, it is the pink team's time to shine!! woohoo!! you go pink!! its a pleasure to be a part and to be a witness of your success!! hope you make it on the top spot! ü I LOVE YOU ALL!!!üü

**there are only two teams that i support this season and the next season to come, the PINK and WHITE teams!ü I LOVE YOU ALL!! [you will, for sure get my support next sem! do your best!;) im always here to cheer for you guys! woohoo!]**

take note: only the current PINK and WHITE teams with the ff members..

>>PINK TEAM<<
*Renz Cuenca*
*Roberto Cui*
*Herbert Quimpo*
*Anthony de Lara*
*Wally Aranza*
*Wilson Tan*
*Ed Acosta*
*Renz O...*
*... Fabian*
*Gino Cabahug*
*and the rest of the gang!!*

>>WHITE TEAM<<
*Ryu Uchida*
*JRF Ibañez*
*Tatos Nuyda*
*Rod Vasquez*
*Reuel Culalic*
*Paolo Cuneta*
*Paolo Nuguid*
*Marqus Rañada*
*Chubby Ballesca*
*Domz ...*
*Beda ...*
*and the rest of the gang!!*

GO PINK!!! GO WHITE!!! WOOOOHOOO!!! YEAH!! üü ROCK ON!! ;)

my confusion has come to an end..

2005-09-11T22:16:00.000+08:00

i didnt expect it to happen..
i didnt expect it to come from that thing..
why now? why from that thing? why?
i was once confused.. yes..
but now.. my confusion has come to an end..

i've been acting a little strange since our art app field trip. my blockmates did notice it and i believe that even if how hard i try to hide the uneasiness that i am feeling,, it will still reveal itself. i cant understand this feeling.. i cant explain this dilemma inside of me.. but i have to realize.. that this is not meant to be. i have to realize that this INSANITY has to stop.

weird? yes.. i am.. very much..
i was about to be a prisoner again but thanks to that thing.. i was enlightened and i had the oppurtunity to think, decide and move. it is insane.. yes.. it is..

the thing tried to give me somethin to hold on to.. but i refused. now.. i made up my mind.. i will walk on this straight path.. i will not turn to the right nor to the left.. i will focus my eyes on the goal that i am to reach.. i will make my step.. i will move. i will run the race. i will leave everything behind. every hurt, every pain, every INSANITY. i am now forbidden to love anyone besides Him.. i am now to focus on my King..

enough of the hurt.. enough of the pain.. enough of the sufferings.. enough of the weaknesses and strife. i have to stand up.. i have to fight. enough of being a weakling and such a crybaby.. enough of the stupidity.. enough of the tears..

i have to stand up.. i have to fight.. i will fight until the end.

i will hold on to that light.. i will turn my back away from this world.. i have found the light and now i am to seek Him.. enough with the affairs of this world.. i am victorious..

..and today i declare..
..that my heart is now forbidden..
..to love others that might take His place..
..my eyes are forbidden..
..to look at others' light that may lead me to stumble..
..i shall not fall again..
..I'VE HAD ENOUGH..
--enough pain, hurt, suffering.. enough of you..

take me by the hand, Lord..
and lead me to wherever you wish..
i am Your slave, oh God..
do to me whatever You desire..
i own no longer this life of mine..
in Your hands You possess the authority over my being..
control me, oh Father..
today, Lord,
i surrender..
let Your will be done.. in my life..

first time!

2005-09-09T20:34:00.000+08:00

its friday! three subjects to attend and we're done!ü ..okei, philo class' over and its gimmick time. yesterday, my blockmates and i agreed to go to festival mall and have fun. after our philosophy class, we went to festival mall as planned. ives and i rode with rox in her car. her mom was the one driving. the others: drew, nikki and pat rode with rocel in her revo.[tma buh?] rocel's driver was the one driving the revo. okei.. we met at mcdo at the 3rd level and had our lunch there. we were so hungry that's why we ordered at once. we ate lunch and had chit chats about things and stuff. after having lunch, we went to a certain shop.. and.. okei.. so much for that shop!! after going to that...... shop, we went to pixie forest and rode the "fun house". it was my first time to enter pixie forest coz we dont really go in there coz its for kids. so, it was my first time to ride that "fun house" and it was really fun! hehehe..! after having a good ride at pixie forest, we proceeded to xsite and rode the coaster. it was ives' 1st time to ride that coaster coz her sisters won't allow her to try that ride coz of her condition. anyways, we had really great time riding that coaster. ives and rocel sat on seat#8, nikki and i on seat#9, and drew, pat and rox sat on seat #10. it was really fun. while the coaster is running, nikki and i were fooling around. hahahah! well, we just kinda acted as if we're still grade schoolers. hehehe!

okei here it comes. the moment of truth. hahahaha.. its VIDEOKE TIME!! hehehe.. we were suppose to sing outside, the one with the big screen, but i was not that ready to sing in front of strangers. i suggested that we sing in the room. we spent 2 hours and 35 mins inside that videoke room! nikki and i sang the first song but i really cant remember what that song is. hehe! one of the songs that drew sang was "just once" and he got a 100 for that! he/she's really a super star! and believe me, he really sings well. hehe! he also sang "halik" by aegis because ives dared him to sing it and he got a 96 for that. the song do really have a high pitch. rox has a really good voice. she sang "next to you", "at your side" by the corrs, and "hanggang ngayon" by ogie alcasid and regine velasquez, where drew sang with her. ives sang "cry" by mandy moore and "a thousand miles". pat sang "dreaming of you" and "halukay ube" hahaha! :D nice one pat! ;p rocel sang "foolish heart" and she has a cold voice.. asteeg!! go rocel! ;) nikki sang "when i met you" by apo hiking society. she did sang a lot of other songs! woohoo! go nikki!! ;) i sang "till they take my heart away" by claire m. and got a 99 for that. and guess what??? i got a 100 fo singing "please forgive me" by bryan adams! hahaha! ;p we sang a lot of songs within our 2hours and 35mins stay in that room. the assisstant there even gave us a free 5min stay. hehe! tnx kuya! :p after the videoke thing, ives and i went back to sville while rox and rocel bought their new sun sims and nikki and drew ate merienda.

on the way to sville, ives and i went to toyota to ride a trike going to sville. while walking, we saw this "bopis stand" and grab some. we both love to eat street foods. hehhehe! after eating we rode a trike and went back to sville. there we saw ange and at around 5.30pm we parted ways. ives went home while ange and i attended the rotaract meeting. thank God i now have an oraganization to join. hehehhe! ;p oh well, til here! ciao!ü

"please forgive me,
i don't know what to do
please forgive me,
i can't stop loving you
don't deny me
this pain i'm going through
please forgive me,
if i need you like i do
please believe it,
every wod i say is true
please forgive me,
i can't stop loving you.." -- by bryan adams

**hahahahaha!! 100!! hahahaha!!**

confused

2005-08-25T22:38:00.000+08:00

i cant understand what im feeling right now. i cant explain what i was going through for these past few days. i couldnt figure out the reason of this uneasiness. all i now is this is happening because of that thing that entered my life casually, but is now consuming a big part of me. ugh! it sucks.. believe me.. it does.

anyways, we had a field trip last saturday, 20th of august 2005 at UP Diliman. we watched a musical play entitled St. Louis Loves Dem Filipinos at the Palma Hall Theater. the play was good but i didnt enjoy the flow of the story though. there were also uncivilized students from the other school who kept on howling inside the theater. tsk tsk.. our school was blamed instead of theirs. ugh.. i was so pissed. hmm.. anyways, my friends were love struck with Paul Jeddan Flores. he was a cast of the play. he played the part of an american boy.. i think. he was so damn handsome to the point that drew and co. was craving to meet him. and they did. they even got a pic with him. err.. i should have been in that pic. oh well, i like the other guy though. arkel mendoza was the grandson of gramps. haha.. his smile was really cute, his voice was so good at singing and he narrates really well. haii.. arkel.ü ehehe.. oh well, when i saw arkel, i wanted to shift to theater arts and leave nursing behind. but i realized, i cant do that. my parents would kill me. hehe!

after the play, we went back to the bus and were about to eat lunch. okei, i only have a pack of double-stuffed oreo, 1 big pack of ruffles, 1 big pack of nova [w/c was devoured by my seatmate. hahaha! peace!ü], 1 lemon c2, 1 bottle of m.dew and 1 big bottle of mineral water. do you think i would survive by mere eating junk foods and cookies??! no way man! good thing we had a stop over at a foodline in philcoa. i was suppose to eat double cheeseburger and large fries but the line in McDonald's was soooo long. believe me.. that's why we have to order at Jollibee, which happens to be the "hatest" [i think] fastfood chain of my seatmate, El Presidente. i ordered cheese and mushroom burger and large fries. wasnt really that contented coz i really wanted to eat double cheeseburger.. ugh! and their fries sucks! grrrhh..

after lunch, we headed for the National Museum. so sad we werent able to see the famous Spoliarium coz it was located in the Finance bldg w/c is under construction at this very moment. haii.. the tour was boring considering the fact that im really feeling sick especially when we were in the Metropolitan Museum coz El Presidente and i were sitting near the driver. im not used to sitting there that's why i had a terrible headache and started feeling dizzy. i just slept on our way home. haii..

i thought that the trip would be happy and exciting, but i was wrong.

when i got home, i proceeded to the comfort room and vomitted.. for real. the bus really made me sick! and it was deym hot.. grrr.. i changed my clothes and watched "A Walk to Remember". i bursted into tears the moment the movie started. weird isnt it? its just that the movie was so overwhelming to the point that i was crying the whole time. [it was the fourth or fifth time that i saw that movie.]

"maybe God has better plans for me than i have for myself.. like you were sent to me coz im sick.. like you're my angel.." -jamie elizabeth sullivan [mandy moore]

"our love is like the wind, i cannot see it.. but i can feel it." -landon rollins carter [shane west]

..my life was not absurd, my life had a meaning.. i know it still has now.. but what is this that im feeling? what is this that im experiencing. ugh.. i just need some rest.. i just need a break.. i just need to detach.. i just need to.. i just have to..

untitled part ii

2005-08-20T13:55:00.000+08:00

another poem i wrote.. ahahaha! wala lang.. just for the sake of writing, hope this will also make it in the mover..

"untitled part ii"
by breathe--

you're looking for someone to care,
to help and to comfort you
yet you fail to open your eyes and
look around.
you deprived yourself
from seeing the truth
you fail to see my presence
right there by your side.
you never looked at your side
for your eyes are fixed on her.
i wanted to call your attention
yet it seems that you were
deafened by her voice.
i hate it everytime i see you
look at her.
i feel the pain and grief she gives you.
i suffer twice the pain that you
experience.
if you only open your eyes and
look around..
you'll see me right there by your side.

081805
thursday
10.33pm

untitled

2005-08-18T10:31:00.000+08:00

about a month ago, my friend, hannah was forcing me to make a good poem for the collegiate mover. i tried to make one but the outcome did not satisfy me. after many attempts of making a good poem, i just stopped and gave up. its not a requirement anyway. today, we had our chem lab and i saw bea's notebook filled with poems made by her. i was inspired and tried to make one of my own. when dania read it, she told me to give it to her and she's going to pass it to the school paper's eic for it to be published. she is also a part of the mover's staff. now here it goes..

"untitled"
by breathe--

lost in the infinite abyss
longing for freedom and justice to come
tormented by the evil one
i can't bear the pain anymore.
pain, grief and shame..
i have no face to show you now.
broken and shattered
and yet i do not die.
the angel of death passed me by,
"please get me now, i pray, please get me now."
i'm broken, shattered and undone.
i grieve in pain.
i suffer so much.
i'm waiting in vain..
save me from my distress
your love is all i need.

081705
wednesday, chemlab

..that's it. hehe.. wla lng.. hehehe..

17 * seventeen * 17

2005-08-16T12:52:00.000+08:00

<-- this pic was taken at yellow cab las piñas, my birthday. [they were my 4thyr high school classmates.]

august 11, 2005, thursday

"birthday koh na.." <--those were the exact words i uttered the moment i woke up. no feelings. no excitement at all. weird huh?but its real. for me it was just one of the ordinary days.haii.. y nga ba?? ewan.. anyway, let me just tell you bout what happened today. last night, aug. 10, i slept at around 12.30am bcoz ppol were texting me, greeting me "happy bday!" and so that's why i slept late. some of my friends texted me tha day before my bday. natz texted me wed night coz her text unlimited load will expire at exactly 12mn. she texted me at 10.45pm. jen, my churchmate, greeted me at 11.30pm. maix texted me at 11.45pm thinking that it was aleady 12mn! [aian!mgkkaiba kc taio ng oras! haha! thanx tsong!] landon texted me at 11.58.58pm.. haha.. he might have been thinking the same as maix. whehe.. ü so i slept at 12.30am. when i woke up at around 5.30am, i read all the text messages that my friends sent me. i got out of my bed by 6.30am and took a bath for 30-45mins. [as usual! lagi nman e! haha..] and of course! im late for my first class! haha! i arrived at SISC at 8.10am and headed for the gym. as i was walking, i saw alain, who was also a latecomer that day, and entered the gym together. upon entering the gym 2, my blockmates were doing the routines [stretchings, warm ups..] and shouted in chorus, "HAPPY BIRTHDAY, LAI!!" [okei that was really touching guys! I LOVE YOU ALL!!] i placed my things on the steel benches/bleachers/whatever
and joined my classmates in line. as i join them, the girls went towards me, greeting me happy bday with a hug and kiss. sweet isnt it?! hehe.. jani also gave me her bday present for me.. OATMEAL COOKIES!! *yummm* "thanks jani! sarap tlga!ü" okei.. after p.e, we went back to our beloved classroom waiting for sir franco's class to get out of our room. hehe! nothin significant really occured during math,lunch break, and filipino class.

so here it is.. after filipino class, we had almost an hour break before art app. army and i were hungry that's why we went down to the foodcourt to grab some hash browns. we went back to the room after. also, during that break, landon was suspecting kat for stealing/borrowing his silver bracelet which was with me. [i took it from his wrist during lunch time. he might have, obviously, forgotten it. hehe.] he also suspected me so he ran after me and we were like kids who were running in circles going in and out of the room. hehehe.. ü after that, he was kinda pissed off so i returned it back to him.

okei, art app time!! while ms. shiela was discussing the lesson, she stopped and looked at ___ and asked him if he had greeted the birthday celebrant who happens to be me. hehee.. i was making
our visual aids that time so i really didnt see his reaction but my friends told me that he just laughed. when i looked at ms. shiela, she was smiling and looking at me. she likes to tease me to that guy, together with my blockmates! not to mention landon who keeps on teasing me. anyways, ms. shiela, after asking ___ if he had greeted me said "dapat pag nagggreet may respect.. dapat may kiss!" <--WATDA!! and then everyone was like "yihee!! lai and ___!" [cmon guys..! lkas trip nio evah! graveh! hehe..] i was really tensed that time! i was perspiring to think that it was really cold because of the rain and the aircon. i removed my jacket and starting to ask for a fan. gosh tlga! good thing we didnt have to do our reporting that day coz there were no time left. " thanx rox, kriska, k-anne, and ju for reporting so long! hehe! " art app class just ended and landon was like shouting "japanese kiss! japanese kiss!" <--nice one.. haha! after class, my 4thyr friends met up at starbucks las piñas. we were really noisy inside starbucks so we bought drinks and transferred to yellow cab which was located just beside starbucks. i ordered for a box of pizza and we stayed in the 2nd flr. i missed them so much! 13 of us were there.. jp, jed, cajux, kens, jognat, jlo, kring, richia, per, maix, kathy, aris, and me! richia went home early bec. she had lots of things to do. the rest of us drove to bfrv. [nice starex jp! school bus? eheh!] aris was unloaded [??] at times. [times un dba?! o bsta un! sori d ako sanay dun sa lugar na un e! hahaha!] we went to bfrv and fetched jaymie at ate annie's store a.k.a egyptian. after that, we proceeded to FIC which was owned by our beloved friend jp francisco. he also gave me a free avocado ice cream. that's my fave. its his bday gift na daw to me. huwaaat? ahaha.. "thanx jp! talap! ;)" hehe.. after that, i went home with per and that yellow cab pizza box with us. hehe! [the box were full of dedications from my friends.] ü august 12, 2005, friday

its friday so it means we're just gonna have 3 subjects and were done. at exactly 11am i called the BROOKLYN PIZZA and ordered for 3 boxes of pizza. 1 white cheese, 1 pepperonni, and 1 deluxe. the delivery boy arived late so we ate at 1pm. only 17 of us were there coz the others already went home. army, bianca, mary, kat, hannah, ives, me, tammy, jani, ju, kiel, drew, nikki, pat, landon, kuya ryu, and ms. ciel nuyda was there. ms. ciel got the last slice. hehe.. landon even bought an iced tea for me. aaawww..! how sweet.. hehehe! peace.. "thanks for the iced tea, landon!! and for bringing.. yah know! ehehe!ü" after eating, they wrote their dedications on the white pizza box. those 12 people wrote on the box. so sad army wast able to write na coz she had to go home and change coz we're gonna go pa to hannah's place. after that, we parted ways and i went home with my pizza box. then as soon as i got home, i changed my clothes and hurried to hannah's place. when i arrived there, i only saw their maid! they were late.. ahahah! naunahan koh pa cla! ehehehe.. we watched "not another teen movie" and ate fries and pringles. we drank coffee [mah favorite! caffein is good for the body! ahaha! lolz! =p]. marvin, army's lover, came over hannah's place. at 6pm, we went back to SISC for the masscom night which was also a success. nice acting landon! ehehehe! peace out! ü

til i see You

2005-07-26T07:33:00.000+08:00

The greatest love that anyone
could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to
find my soul
And til i see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

With all i am i live to see
Your kingdom come
And in my heart i pray
You'd let Your will be done
And til i see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

I will live to love You
I will live to bring You praise
I will live a child in awe of You

You are the voice that called
the universe to be
You are the whisper in my heart
that speaks to me
And til i see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

You alone are God of all
You alone are worthy, Lord
And with all i am my soul will bless Your Name

by: united live "look to You" (hillsongs..)

all for love

2005-07-26T07:13:00.000+08:00

All for love a Father gave
For only love could make a way
All for love the heaven's cried
For love was crucified

Oh, how many times
have i broken Your heart
But still You forgive
if only i'd ask
How many times have You
heard me pray
Draw near to me

Everything i need is You
My beginning, my forever
Everything i need is You

Let me sing all for love
I will join the angel song
Ever holy is the Lord
King of glory, King of all

All for love a Savior prayed
"Abba Father have Your way
Though they know not what they do
Let the cross draw men to You"

by: united live "look to You" (hillsongs..)

til i see You

2005-07-26T07:09:00.000+08:00

The greatest love that anyone
could ever know
That overcame the cross and grave to
find my soul
And til i see You face to face
And grace amazing takes me home
I'll trust in You

alone with my m&m's..

2005-07-26T06:57:00.000+08:00

monday.. no classes. good thing we don't have classes today. i can edit my blogs, chat with people, watch alias season 2, and do stuffs. but the bad thing is my unlimited texts expired last night! then, landon and i are not "bati" anymore because i called him "kuya marqus".. [so guys, tip.. dont call him "kuya" aiyt?] huhuhu.. now we're not bati! waaahh.. landon sorry na!! :( haii..

now, im sittin' right in front of my pc while eating m&m's.. no one to talk to.. except for renz who's currently eating noodles and corned beef. haii.. im not feeling well. i think im sick. ugh!

hmmm.. while sitting here, i recalled what happened in the canteen 2 weeks ago. hannah, ives, kat and i had a debate regarding love. particularly about boys. hmm.. why is it that guys act strange when they discover that a girl likes them? why do they act as if they're really gwapo and they start bragging about it? i mean.. why is some guys such a "feeler"? whatever. they brag so much about themselves.. haii.. nothing significant bout that debate anyway.

IM BORED! haii.. ahh.. here.. why is it that its so hard to find someone you can really trust? i mean, for example, you have a friend here and he's the only one who knows one of your deepest secrets [im just stating an example... there's no particular person involved in this scenario.. hehe! whatever!] and then one of your closest friends would ask you about it.. i mean, why would that friend of yours squeal out your secret to your close friend?! gets nio ba?! basta un na un.. hai.. i just dont get it.. you give your full trust to that person and suddenly you discover that he did something that might get you in a major trouble! watda.. grrr.. hate it..

haii.. i really cant understand this feeling.. haii..

**gusto koh nang pumasok para may magawa naman..**

at last!

2005-07-22T11:40:00.000+08:00

at last! prelims are over! haii.. thank God the exams wasn't that hard except fo math. well, im really having a hard time dealing with math subject. especially algebra. oh well.. anyways, enough with the prelim stuff. let me just tell you what happened today..

after we had our prelims in ic1 [that is, sisc hallmarks], my blockmates and i, together with landon sat down in front of the clinic, which is eventually located in front of the basketball court, and watched reuel and his friends practice. we were talking bout stuffs, and we were laughing all the time. at around 4pm, our blockmates went to the students affairs office to see sir ed franco. only kat,ange,hannah,landon and i were left there. after a while, hannah went home. the four of us, together with some basketball players, went to citadella to watch the ballers play. there kat and i had a pretty good bonding for the first time. it was fun. hehe.. i also met new friends because of landon. i met doms and iggy who happened to be landon's team mates. iggy's friendly that's why i enjoyed chatting with him. doms was quite snobbish [peace!].. hehe! well, that was just my first impression with him. i hope it wont last. hehehe! oh well.. enough with those things..

we have no classes tomorrow. yey! i, together with my blockmates, are planning to go to atc tomorrow so we could get a group picture taken at picture city. after that we're planning to go to jani's house and chill out. oh well, i hope we just enjoy tomorrow's gimmick. haii..

preLim week..

2005-07-21T10:15:00.000+08:00

haii.. so exhausting.. to study, to compute stuffs, to think. think not only of school stuffs but also things that pertains to life. my life. haii.. why is pain a part of life? why is sadness and emptiness are variables of it? or better yet call them elements of life. why do people have to experience hurt? ugh! so many questios running through my head.

why do people envy each other? why do people get jealous? why do people suffer? WHY???

i know the answer if someone's not asking me.. but if somebody asks me these things, i might as well ask the same questions and look for the real answer. haii.. i know that all of these things happened, is happening and will happen for a reason. we just have to look at it as something that will mold us to a better person that we ought to become. we should just deal with these things in a positive manner. it hurts. it does, a lot. but we have to endure the pain and continue with life. without pain, grief, sadness, emptiness, sufferings and stuffs like that, life will be boring. we just have to see life as a challenge that comes with many surprise challenges with it. we just have to discover the right way of dealing with it. and that is, to trust Him completely. to trust Him that He will be the One to work on it.

speaking of trust, trusting God doesn't only mean that when you trust Him, something good will definitely happen. trusting Him means that your giving your full trust to Him that whatever the outcome maybe, you still believe that it happened for a reason.

haii.. im not really sure if you got what im trying to say but one thing's for sure, when you put your everything in God's hands, in God's control.. even if what's happening doesn't seem good to you, you still know, that in the end, everything's gonna be fine. ü

*****aral_mode muna*****

enough

2005-07-15T13:41:00.000+08:00

i just had enough for one day... bukas naman.. pls..? :(